i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
