I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
