Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Even my vagina gasped.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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