I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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