I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
