SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
