Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
