White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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