I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
