Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
