guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
