Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I checked into jail on foursquare
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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