his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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