We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
