4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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