Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
