i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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