he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
