Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
