did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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