So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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