im drinking this country out of the recession.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bring money and cleavage
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
