God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
