did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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