Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
