I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
