yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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