Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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