don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Bring me that man meat
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
