You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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