Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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