Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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