Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
