Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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