Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to make out with him forever
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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