your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
