Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
