she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
