so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
did i just pee glitter
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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