I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
