I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
