if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
