i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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