it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
