You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
