im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
