my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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