East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
