We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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