Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
