He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
