He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
