he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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