If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
