Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and she was petting her beer can
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
