what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
