ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So vagazzling was a success
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