the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
